Its getting harder every day, I go through constant ups and downs in my head everyday. One minute I will be content and happy and moments later I would have decided that I would break up with my boyfriend and moments later I will realize that I love him and I could never leave him. I can never be satisfied with what I have, I always seem to search for some downfall to obbsess about. I dont know why I always act like this, I feel like some drama queen all the time acting like this. I hate people who act this, and I hate that I act like this. I dont know how to change though, I can only see that I am doing this when I reflect and I naturally do it all the time. The only thing I can do is hope that other people dont hate me for this.
Today was pretty boring, I got up and did nothing but played some games. My mother bought me a new computer game and that has been loading since 5 pm. Another thing I hate about myself is how I whine about everything all the time, like I expect people to fix my problems. I dont have anything like my last journal entry to write, just complaining about my personal self centered shit.